How to Get Rid of that Bitch of a Friend

So don’t all of us, at least, have two such friends that our spirits fall a notch or two at the mere sight of their phone numbers flickering on our cell phones screens?  Well i do have two. So, one of these frightful friend, Friend Hah!, called me yesterday. The conversation went some like this.

 Bitch( i think it suits her best than Friend): What’s your email ID; oh BTW you forgot to wish me on my birthday( very sarcastic tone); anyway I’m sending you an invite to attend my daughters!

Me: (i didn’t forget i chose not to wish you- well just a happy thought.) oh I am very sorry. Congratulations for the little one turning one. And laughing while i felt like kicking her in the gut!

Bitch: anyway, forget it. I really didn’t want to invite you, but then thought better of it.

Me: Ohh (as if I’m coming BITCHHHH- just thinking) okay, so why inviting me now?

Bitch: because Blah Blah Blah...and you remember once in collage you cried for *giggling* Blah Blah Blah any BTW I attended you EX’s wedding and Blah Blah Blah.....* laughing a monstrous laugh*

ME: okay cool! Slightly busy...talk to you latter??

Well, so all the time, while i would have loved to wring her neck or pull her hair and punch that arrogant and loud mouth of hers, I kept saying all right, ok, bye then, Hmmm okay.

But later, while ranting and complaining with my husband and later with a fried about all this; i realized i didn’t say anything because i didn’t want to hurt her. But what about my feelings, she never gave a second thought about hurting me? She infact kind of had –Hurting Me- on agenda. You see, it is equally important not allowing someone to hurt you while you are trying hard not to make them feel bad. Or if you are letting someone walk all over you then: FORGET IT!, don’t feel bad about it or whine. Not worth it really!

So next time the Bitch calls me i have some ready pointers:

1) Hey, did it ever occur to you that i don’t call you because i don’t like talking to you? I had infact deleted your number too...

2) Dude, where did you learn to talk this loud...someone got hearing problem at home?

3) Are you taking classes to be sarcastic? Only if you could devote an hour or two to talk intelligently too...awww poor you!

4) Where did you learn this lousy vocab at...Sigh, i keep forgetting where you stay. Sorry, my bad.

5) What you can’t pronounce my husband’s last name (now mine) that’s okay honey;  i know being graduate isn’t everything. Don’t bother your tiny mind; i don’t have too high expectations from you anyway!

Anyway, i am not going to her daughter’s birthday and wait till she calls me....probably that will be her last call to me. and i seriously think that she has had a tormented child hood and suffer horribly from inferiority complex, so at times, i do want to let her have some petty thrills/ happiness in life. ;-)